A Chat with Ben Silby (17.06.25)
Ben Silby has released their debut album, can’t hang. The compilation of tracks merges genres of indie-pop and bedroom-pop while being a coming-of-age release. We spoke with Ben Silby after the release to discuss all things music.
OSR: can’t hang spans a decade of your life. What moment or feeling sparked the first song?
Silby: I guess the starting point to this album was when I was hell bent on leaving NYC. I had been living here for eight years and was really sour on the city. I moved back to California (I was born and raised in San Diego) and was kind of met with “wherever you go, there you are.” While there will always be space in my heart for California, I learned that NYC is my home. Yes, it’s hard to live here, but the city wasn’t the problem; I was. The rest of the album kind of unravelled after I moved back.
OSR: How did your relationship to these songs change as you revisited them over the years?
Silby: As I’ve lived with these songs over the years and performed them live, my perspective on them has definitely changed. There was a phase where I didn’t like any of them because I couldn’t necessarily relate to the growing pains I was experiencing as they were written. But as we recorded the album, my perspective shifted again. Having the years of space allowed me to have some fun with feelings that used to be heavier. There’s a tongue-in-cheek element to this album that wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t had that space. can’t hang has evolved into a love letter to my inner child and the journey we went on together.
OSR: There’s so much emotional honesty in your lyrics. Was there a track that was especially hard to write or record?
Silby: Oh man, in all honesty, most of these songs poured out of me in a way that hurt. Writing music is part of how I process pain, and it’s an important part of the experience for me, even though it’s not that fun. ‘blue’ is probably the song that is the heaviest for me. When I first wrote this song, it was a pure love song, but months later, when our love had gone up in flames (it was my fault), I rewrote the bridge. To this day, it pains me to think about how I hurt the person I wrote this song about, even though we were both very young. The love we had at the beginning was so naive and precious, and I’m sure we both learned from it.
OSR: ‘dirt i’ and “dirt ii’ act as thematic bookends. What connects and separates them for you?
Silby: I guess the overarching theme between the “dirts” is feeling displaced. In ‘dirt i’, I was feeling displaced in my own city. People come and go a lot in NYC, and there’s a lot of recalibration that comes with it. I was also in a place in my life where I was being pressured to choose “practicality” over pursuing my dreams. It was a shift in perspective in who I could trust as the magic of living in New York was fading (or so it felt at the time).
‘dirt ii’ explores a displacement that I was feeling within myself. I was feeling really connected to nature and simultaneously disconnected from my own body. The relationships I had been through were really heavy, and I was bogged down in the meaning of love. It took me some time to realise that I wasn’t singing about love at all, but the toxicity that can come with it. That toxicity was a voice in my head whispering not to heal or take steps to be better. In the end, that voice did not win, but it took a lot of navel gazing lol
OSR: What music were you listening to while making this album?
Silby: I spent time with so many different artists as I wrote and recorded this album. Fiona Apple, Rufus Wainwright, Regina Spektor, and The Strokes are my original influences as a songwriter. They are all artists that I will return to over and over for the rest of my life. As we were recording, I know that I was deep in Caroline Polachek’s Desire, I want to turn into you. I also had a big moment returning to lykke li’s so sad so sexy, one of my fav albums for sure. ‘brat’ also came out while we were finishing up the last few sessions. I honestly will listen to any music that makes me feel something or move my body.
OSR: Were there any surprising influences, musical or otherwise, that shaped the album?
Silby: Well, I certainly was not expecting to play the theremin, something that happened simply because there was one in the room. Almost every track started with me playing the piano and singing, so the journey from there was constantly surprising. ‘dirt ii’ was meant to be produced in a style similar to Fiona Apple’s ‘not about love’, which was a huge inspiration for the chorus of the song, but one day Miles and I were talking about James Blake and we listened nostalgically to ‘Unluck’ which completely reshaped the vibe of the song.
OSR: You mentioned pushing your vocal boundaries. What was that process like?
Silby: I hate singing in my falsetto. Growing up, I always felt shame around it and like it wasn’t a strong part of my voice. My producer (Miles Francis) pushed me to use it anyway, and hey, I’m glad they did. I loooooove the way the vocal layering turned out and I think my falsetto sounds damn good! I’ve started using it live, even so it was a big ajá moment for me.
OSR: What’s one lyric on this album that still hits you every time you perform it?
Silby: “No one holds me to be what I said I’d be last week. Nothing drowns me in the echo of the words I speak” Idk I think it’s such a relatable feeling and I get emotional every time I sing it.
OSR: If can’t hang were a movie, what scene or mood would it be?
Silby: Shot on film, scarce, quiet, queer. Probably half of it takes place in NYC/half in California. It would be the kind of movie that makes you laugh, but leaves you with a sense of longing. If I could choose a director, it would be Gregg Araki.
OSR: What would you say to your 2014 self who started writing these songs?
Silby: Oh man. First off, I would tell them I love them because I think they need to hear it. Then I would tell them to trust themself and that there’s no amount of validation in the world will give them peace. learning to let people go will be the biggest lesson in your life. Trust in your heart and trust in this music. Also, please stop wearing spray-on skinny jeans.
Many thanks to Ben Silby for speaking with us. Find out more about Ben Silby on their Instagram, TikTok, and Spotify.
